Homeward Bound
by HK-Revan
Summary: Naruto was playing hide and seek with the ANBU. He won. And now he's lost. The story of a eight year old boy traveling around the world trying to find a way home.
1. Chapter 1

Lolz another Naruto fanfiction. Haha...I should be studying right now.

Summary: Sometimes a long trip is all that is needed to clear one's head. That or getting lost sucks so much.

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><p>A certain blonde haired child stared blankly at the grass, flowers and trees. "...Umm.." He had been playing hide and seek and now he had no clue where he was.<p>

A few hours ago he was playing a fun game with those people with the masks. He noticed their existence just a few weeks ago and was determined to beat them. Clearly they were playing a massive game of hide and seek and were cheating cuz they were ninjas.

So when he joined their game, he lost a lot more than he won.

This kinda explained why he was in the middle of the woods and why he had no idea how to get home.

The little blonde boy stared at the box he had hidden in. On the label it said "Raddish".

"This isn't funny anymore!" He shouted to the trees. "Come out!"

Nothing.

Well, looks like...he'll have to go home all by himself! Like a big boy! No crying.

With a resolute look, he grabbed his box and started walking. This shouldn't be too hard. He'll just look for a mountain with four heads on it. That shouldn't be that hard.

Nope. Not hard at all.

Except he was going in the opposite direction.

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><p>Meanwhile in Konoha, one group of ANBU were being severely dressed down by an irate Hokage.<p>

It really wasn't their fault that they lost track of their quarry. Who knew a kid in orange could hide from ANBU?

"Find him." Barked Sarutobi teeth grinding on his pipe. "Now or I'm demoting you all to genin."

"Sir!"


	2. Suna pt 1

Lolz another Naruto fanfiction. Haha...I should be studying right now.

Summary: So I guess Naruto gets to meet people like Gaara, random people, Tsunade, maybe even Konon, Haku. Lol.

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><p>"Oi...Haku what...the hell is in your hands?"<p>

"A box!" The boy sounded so cheerful it was kinda annoying.

"What's in it?"

"It has kittens in it." Haku then pulled out something that was bigger than a kitten with a bright yellow mop for hair.

"..."

"Oh.." Haku held the sleeping child up with both hands eyes wide. "Can we keep him?"

"HELL NO!"

And thus Naruto's first meeting with the demon of the mist began and ended as such. Back in the box and onto some merchant's cart. It wouldn't be his last meeting though, just the safest. He had no clue he was part of an elaborate ruse to get a rabbit as a pet.

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><p>It was a few days later did Naruto find himself in a rather hot and dusty location. He poked his head out of the box staring at all the sand. So much sand everywhere. His small and undernourished eight year old body was easily hidden in the box labeled 'radish'.<p>

Apparently when he went to sleep he woke up in an entirely different place. This box was magic. It had to be.

He clambered out of the box, stepping onto the sand. Bright blue eyes stared at the dirty brown box. This box had been with him for a while now (two days) and it had served him well. He couldn't abandon it here. With whiskered cheeks puffed up he grabbed the flap and started to drag it with him.

Naruto managed this for a few yards but the sand stole all his force and the heat stole all his energy. Oh look, water! It was a pool with some odd looking trees. But there was water.

"We're gonna make it boxy."

Why was the water not getting closer?

Two more steps forward. The sun was relentless as it beat down on the boy who was used to a more humid atmosphere. He collapsed onto the sands too weak to even wince at the heat from the sands.

Inside him the fox raged. He wasn't going to die here not in the middle of a wasteland. But it was no use the seal kept him from flooding the boy's chakra with his own, to sustain him. In a desperate attempt to survive he let loose, his chakra pounding against the seal, flaring his reiatsu as a beacon.

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><p>Naruto never noticed the three figures that approached him.<p>

"Eh? What's a kid doing all the way here?" Feminine and soft.

"Who knows. Where'd that monstrous chakra go?" Male.

"It's right here." Cold.

"What? You're kidding, Gaara!"

"Shut up." The person's voice was very cold and young. "Or I'll kill you."

Silence passed.

"Baki will know what to do." The feminine voice offered. "Besides it's just a kid probably got separated from his parents."

A rustle and Naruto was picked up and slung over someone's shoulder. The box was left behind sand covering it and burying it. This will be where the ANBU find the last trace of Naruto's scent on the border of Wind Country. From there...well...it'd take a lot more than them to march into Suna to find a missing civilian, son of the Fourth or not.

"Shit." Kakashi muttered from behind his mask.


	3. Suna pt 2

Lolz another Naruto fanfiction. Haha...I should be studying right now.

Summary: So first to sand, where the demon boy lives. I know a lot of people wrote fics about this. I hope to add my own original twist.

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><p>Temari stared at the kid who was now slumped in their sofa. She turned to look at Kankuro but he was already gone. Had to clean his dolls again. The only other person in the room aside from the kid was Gaara and that little shit was scary. Ever since their uncle died...well Gaara stopped being cute and dangerous and was more fucking dangerous.<p>

That kid was staring at the boy really hard.

She took the initiate and reached at to shake the kid's shoulder. "Oi. Blondie."

Shake. Shake.

A groan and slowly a pair of bright blue eyes were revealed to her. The small boy moved into a sitting position head in hands. "Hey."

"Hi." His voice was a bit scratchy from the sand and hot hair. She got him a glass of water.

"So kiddo, you got a name?"

The boy with the blonde flop of hair nodded eyes guarded.

"And?"

A smile. "Naruto!" As if merely speaking the name brought him joy.

"Hi Naruto. I'm Temari and that's my little brother Gaara."

The kid waved at Gaara without any trace of fear. Temari's theory was correct. This kid wasn't from their village the symbol of the now defunct Whirlpool was a strong indication.

"So, where you from? Where are your parents?"

"Konoha." Ah, what the fuck was this kid doing all the way out here?

"And your parents? Look if they're in town we're gonna find them and ship you right to them!" There was no way in hell Temari was going to babysit another brat. One was enough.

"I..I don't have parents."

Oh.

"How about a guardian? Siblings? Uncle?"

Naruto shook his head.

Well shit. "Then how'd you get all the way here?"

She knew there wasn't any sort of Konoha delegation in the village. The only thing she could remember was a recent merchant train that had arrived a day prior.

"I was playing hide and seek with Dog."

"Dog?"

"Un huh. He's got a dog mask and he wears black and got a shiny sword!"

ANBU! This kid was playing hide and seek with ANBU? Who the hell was he?

"I was winning so I went to hide in the forest and got sleepy and went to sleep. And when I woke up I didn't know where I was." He nodded his head briskly. "It's magic."

Temari stared at Naruto blankly. A part of her head was hurting at his explanation. "Wait...wait let me get this straight. You went to sleep and woke up somewhere else? You sure you weren't kidnapped?"

"What's kidnap?"

Bright baby blue eyes stared at her blankly.

"...Something.." Temari felt her eyes twitch. She groaned, not wanting to deal with this. "You stay here while I figure out what to do. "

And with that she walked out. It was only when she was a block away did she realize she just left a monster in a room with a kid. Aw shit. There wouldn't be anything left of that kid when she got was there?

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><p>Said monster stared at Naruto. Naruto stared back.<p>

This startled Gaara. This kid didn't look at him fearfully or with hate. It was a clueless kind of look.

"Hi!" The eight year old scrambled off the couch to walk over to Gaara. Despite himself, he took a few steps back, the sand shifting due to his unease.

"Hi." Said in a more subdued tone.

"What's your name?"

"Gaara."

"I'm Naruto!" The kid stuck out his hand. "Let's be friends!"

Gaara stared at the hand and then at the owner of it. "Friends?"

"Yeah! Why? You don't want to be my friend?" And now it was the blonde kid with the guarded look. The kind of look that comes from expecting the worst out of people.

"What? No. No. I..." Gaara stared at those blue eyes. "Yeah, we can be friends."

"Awesome! You're the best friend ever! Let's play ball and play pranks and do jokes and talk and be good friends." Before him the silent kid transformed into a loud rumbustious person who showed no fear before the monster.

It was nice, it was honestly nice.

"That's what friends do?"

"Yeah! Well, I don't really know but I've seen it before. Friends eat together and play together and smile a lot!"

"Smile a lot?"

"Yeah, like this!" The kid smiled wide and it felt like honest. It felt real. Not the way his siblings smiled, or the way his father frowned.

"You try it!"

Gaara did, he honestly did try but whenever he tried to feel happy all he got were his uncle's dying face and his words. His lips remained the way they were before, thin and unimpressed.


	4. Suna pt 3

Lolz another Naruto fanfiction. Haha...I should be studying right now.

Summary: So Gaara isn't yet all too trigger happy, he's still a wee bit small to be threatening grown shinobi but civilians he can mess with all the time. Of course now that he's met a kid who isn't scared of him, he doesn't know what to do. It doesn't look edible really.

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><p>After a quick look around the room, Naruto found that there was no ball anywhere. There were sharp kunai and scrolls but nothing to be used in the art of tossing and catching. Naruto was notoriously a kid who had way too much energy and nothing to use it for. One could only play on the swing set by oneself for only so long before it gets too tiring.<p>

But he has a friend now, someone who an extra pair of arms who can play catch.

There was no ball, however.

Naruto and new best friend stared at each other. Naruto was quiet simply because there was nothing he could think of to talk about, the mere thought of simply asking the other kid what he liked or disliked never really crossed his mind. Simply having a friend was all too mind shattering.

As for the new best friend aka panda boy aka raccoon aka Gaara, he was quiet because that was just how he was. Years of habit was very hard to break especially when everyone else around you enforced it whether you liked it or not.

Interestingly enough it was Gaara who broke the silence having figured out exactly what to talk about.

"Are you a ninja?"

"Me? No."

"Oh." Gaara found himself tapping his fingers together a tic he also never got rid of but simply suppressed. "My d- the Kazekage taught me a few things."

"Really?" And suddenly Naruto was in his face, eyes wide excitement written all over his face. "What can you do? Can you walk on walls? Fly? Jump really far?"

And once more Gaara was backing up from the exuberant blonde his personal space violated. "I'm learning how to move sand."

"Move sand?"

He demonstrated by making the sand rise in the air.

"No way, that's so cool!" For the first time someone commented on Gaara's abilities not as frightening or useful.

What a benign comment. It made his chest feel all fuzzy.

"I wish I could do something that amazing." Naruto said in the kind of voice that no one has ever spoken to Gaara before with. It was awe, pure unadulterated awe.

"It's not that impressive." For once Gaara blushed.

"Yeah it is!" Loud and proud Naruto helped create something very important. Self confidence. Well, the kind of self confidence that doesn't involve killing people to prove your worth.

"Naruto I'm sure you can do amazing things too."

They were both scrawny boys with nothing to lose, demons in their bellies and lacking fathers. One due to circumstance the other out of pure stubbornness. And at the moment their demons were peering at each other.

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><p>"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." The great demon Kyuubi stared at the one tail and found him wanting.<p>

Between nervous laughter, twitching eyes and a loud cackle that could break glass the one tail demon wasn't in good shape. Unlike the Kyuubi who had most of his faculties the other demon could not boast the same.

"KYyyuuubi~" He sang out the sand that made up his body twisting and morphing with each passing breath. "KYUUUBiiiiiii"

This was going to be a long day thought Kyuubi as he watched the monstrosity try to pronounce his name.

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><p>When Temari got back she was quite prepared for bloodshed and guts and a brooding Gaara. What she wasn't prepared for was a bucket landing on her head the moment she opened the door.<p>

Nor was she expecting the giggles of two boys.

It's been a long time since she heard Gaara laugh but even that didn't stop her rage from building up. "YOU BRATS! COME BACK HERE!"

Instead of meeting her death she was able to catch the blonde brat first and then her brother. They were both poorly hidden.

The afternoon melted into tag as Temari had to catch the two idiots many times as one (namely Gaara) would free the other. Later she would begrudgingly admit the chasing did her stamina some good, the blonde runt was quicker than expected and could run for a very long time.

It was later in the evening did she find herself with the sleeping blonde menace in her arms. After the whole chasing thing and head smacking did Naruto finally pass out. And with that came the question of what exactly to do with the kid. It wasn't like they could keep him like a pet no matter how entertaining the idea would be.

Besides it was best for that kid to go back to his village. Orphan or not what if the kid was someone important? ANBU are not known to play with kids, they're more of the murdering kids in their sleep type.

It was quite easy to smuggle the sleeping blonde into the merchants cart. All she had to do is have Gaara glare menacingly at the chunnin guards. If she hadn't experienced those glares first hand she might have laughed. Most scrawny eight year olds are incapable of staring down an older chunnin. Then again, this eight year old has been killing people twice his age for some time now.

And yet this eight year old killer had a very gentle expression on his face as she stuffed the blonde into a box labeled, "Cabbage". At the very least the cabbage would be a nice bed and if worst came to worst something to eat. The brat looked horribly lonely.

Temari was almost tempted to grab the kid and keep him. Figure out some lie when found out and then deal with the consequences. But she rejected that, someone would be missing this kid. And it wasn't their duty to look after him, it wasn't their duty to take care of him. She already had two idiotic brothers to care for, and one who might murder her one night.

Speaking of murderous brothers, Gaara suddenly had a brilliant thought and he had vanished a few minutes prior. When he did return, he had with him a patched up bear. Using his sand, he placed the toy bear next to Naruto. At Temari's questioning look he replied, almost defensively. "In case he thinks it's a dream."

"A dream?"

The red head nodded. "Good things don't happen to people like us."

Once more a moody atmosphere dropped down, draping Temari and chilling her to the bone.

"Let's go home."

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><p>It was only a week later did Temari realize just how much that one day had changed her little brother. They were on a mission, a simple C-rank. It was more for Gaara's benefit than there's. The demon of the sand was a rather proficient killer and was quickly outstripping his older siblings in ninjutsu. Most of the time they just had to provide back up and let Gaara do all the killing. They also didn't want to get in the way when Gaara got in one of his fits.<p>

They didn't count for there to be more bandits than already outlined in the mission. Temari was the oldest of the group but it didn't matter, the bandits were older still and one was a missing nin from Mist. Two kicks to the head and she was done nursing an aching head and a bloody nose. She could barely see Kankuro as he tried to fend them off with his chakra strings his control imperfect and the fear making his hand shake.

From her position on the ground she spotted the missing nin aiming right at her tossing a great deal of kunai she would be unable to dodge. Was she going to die here? Temari closed her eyes her entire body tensing up.

A second passed before she opened up her eyes. There, hovering before her was a wall of sand. "Desert Coffin."

She heard a scream and a crunch. The sand moved, dropping the mass of kunai onto the ground. Standing a few feet from her was Gaara. His face was splattered with blood along with an unreadable expression on his eight year old face. He wiped the blood off his face and continued on to kill the rest of the bandits with the same look on his face, inscrutable.

As they returned to Suna, Baki running ahead and Kankuro lingering behind to check for stragglers she confronted him. Well, confronted was a rather strong word, she asked timidly.

"Why'd you save me?" She knew full well he could have let her get hurt, die even. It wasn't as if she mattered to him. The moment he was born they ceased being a family.

He had that same look in his eyes. The scrawny red haired child looked away speaking softly. "Good things don't happen to people like us." Gaara looked back at her, the madness and darkness lurking in his eyes. "But when it does..."

He trailed off.

She never did get a complete answer out of him.


	5. Interlude

Summary: This is almost a trend for Naruto. Wake up go to new place, see new people, eat new foods. Go to sleep. Wake up, new place, new people. Man, this kid isn't catching a break.

Let's see, who else shall we unleash?

Tsunade, Jiraya or..someone random and new? Lol or maybe an interlude where the ANBU are like, wtf kid. WTF. How'd the hell did you get all the way fuck out here? Stuck a poll on author site.

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><p>Fate smiled gently on Naruto as he slept in the cabbage box unaware that he'd been dumped once more. Except this time it wasn't in a ruse to get a pet rabbit as much as it was thought to be the best for him. Things tend to go weird when people try to do 'good' things.<p>

Since he was a rather scrawny and underfed child who hadn't eaten since a two days ago it was reasonable for him to wake up with his stomach growling at him. Like many orphans Naruto was used to not eating often. It is a sad fact but true, most villages cannot afford to fed all it's war orphans well. They could try but the best they can manage is rations. Until the kid grows older and starts learning how to make their own money they're stuck with the basic essentials. It's not that the kids are neglected as much as there simply is not enough money to go around. Orphans do get an allowance, their parents signed an insurance contract that stipulates a part of their pay after they die to go to any surviving loved ones.

This way at least there is something.

In Naruto's case, Sarutobi had an uphill battle to fight to even convince the council to give Naruto some of the money that his parents earned while in service of the Hokage. And that was a lot of money. In good will, the Third Hokage decided to put all that money away and wait until Naruto was old enough to learn how to use money wisely. Everything he bought, the clothes, and surprise dinners were from that fund.

Suffice to say when he found out that some idiotic fool was stealing money from the fund, he had a field day. In other words he beat the poor fool shit less for even thinking that stealing money from shinobi was a bright idea. Turned out the accountant they trusted was part of an even larger scheme. It ended very badly for the thieves.

Anyways, while this was going on Kakashi and his hand picked ANBU team were finally given the papers to enter Suna. After some speculation Kakashi decided it was their best decision to go and look for Naruto there. Most likely the kid would be in some government holding cell. It wasn't as if the Kazekage was going to find Naruto, swoop him up and declare him part of his fighting force adding the Kyuubi's container into his military. Hopefully.

Or he somehow bonded with other people and declared them his family.

Things like that don't happen in real life.

Kakashi couldn't help but feel dread creep up his spine at the thought. Naruto would be the type of person to attach himself to someone new and smother them in his affections. Oh god, what if he was found by a pedofile? The Hokage would have his balls if that happened.

Oh god. Stop thinking about it.

Stop. That's Minato's son!

Shiiiiit.


	6. Kakashi and Gaara Sitting in a tree

Summary: Hey, sometimes life sucks. And sometimes it really sucks.

So, I guess I'll be making the situation here.

And all the funnies.

Continue voting! And I'm editing something. Cuz yea, some stuff no works.

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><p>Kakashi stood awkwardly at attention, a part of him wanting to slouch while the rest of him was on high alert. So half of him was stiff and the rest of him, was bent slightly at the waist. The rest of the group stood at more or less at alert.<p>

Sand and Leaf relations were strained as while Leaf had flourished after the war, Sand wasn't. This was mostly due to Leaf able to afford to lower the prices of missions. In other words they were the cheaper options and push Sand out of the market. Without funding, they were unable to keep up with the Leaf. Hence there was some underlining tension as the Leaf were able to afford better equipment and materials.

"Your reason of being here is to..." A pause as the Kazekage scanned the papers. "Look for a lost pet?"

Kakashi tried not to wince. He knew the mission statement sounded odd, but hopefully it would be overlooked. "Yes sir."

"A golden retriever?"

"Yes sir."

The Fourth Kazekage scanned the mission report, eyebrows raised as he read the wording again. "An A-ranked mission with ANBU." He drawled slowly, still not believing his vary eyes. Was Leaf so powerful that they could afford to toss ANBU at a dog retrieval mission. It was a slap to the face.

"For the Fire Lady's niece." It was the third time he looked at the paper. "You suspect this dog might be in Suna."

"Yes sir."

He stamped his approval on the scroll. "Have a nice day."

"Sir."

The ANBU vanished, reappearing atop a rooftop. "A dog, sir?"

"Yes, Cat. A dog." Kakashi stared at Cat through his mask, a twinkle in his eye. "It was a cute dog wasn't it?"

He revealed the Polaroids of the golden retriever puppy from his back pocket. "Isn't he so cuuute? "

Cat just brought her hands up. "Kai."

The pictures of the cute puppy vanished to that of a cute whiskered boy. Kakashi had managed to weasel out a few pictures from the Hokage. With that smile on his face he really resembled his father. The first time he actually saw the picture he felt his heart clench. Here he was, living his life in the ANBU, not ever checking up on his teacher's son. He kept promising himself to look after the boy.

"Now, now you didn't have to do that." He handed out the pictures to the rest of the squad. "Sweep the area. Meet back here in two hours."

"Sir!" The ANBU vanished in a blur as they departed to the corners of the village.

Kakashi tucked the picture into his vest pocket, sighing. "Huh, alright. Let's see. Where to go." He looked around his surroundings. "If I were an eight year old lost boy, where would I go?"

When he was eight, he was already a shinobi and an adult. He'd already killed.

The silver haired shinobi dropped onto the ground without a sound, scaring a poor civilian. The teenager started walking, discretly noting the Sand ANBU trailing from behind. The Kazekage was no fool after all.

With his birdies in mind, he kept walking slowly through the market. With his mask on, no doubt his very presence alarmed people. After buying a few snacks, tucking them into his back pocket, he continued on to what he surmised was a play ground.

When he finally got there, it was empty save for a single boy.

Kakashi watched as the boy tossed a ball to a glob of sand and the sand tossed it back to him. Well that was one way to get around playing kick ball against a wall. The red haired child continued to play, the lack of sound or joy utterly disturbing the ANBU. Not to mention the lack of people, there was truly only one person there.

The glob of sand formed into a more recognizable figure, a short person with overly exaggerated spiky hair. And a smile that was larger than the face could possibly hold. What made Kakashi start was the three whisker marks on each cheek.

He walked over, mask still over his face. "Hi~ Have you seen my dog?"

Way to be a pedophile Kakashi.

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><p>Now most children learn something called Stranger Danger. In a situation where they see a strange person trying to lure them with treats or animals, there are several things you can do. For civilian children they can kick, scream, yell etc. However for ninjas there is a different path.<p>

There are so many dangers for children and especially kid ninjas aside from the usual. The academy usually gives lectures on what to do, how to handle it, etc. They learn how to avoid certain people, how to notice when someone is giving them too much attention. It helped in general in how to be a ninja. Most of the lessons boiled down to one thing.

Kick the shit out of the poor sucker who thought they were a good target.

Most predators learn they need learn how to be better molesters or else, they'll be face down in a ditch. Dead.

Unfortunately some predators are also ninja so the danger is very much more heightened. Some people are very sick and want to do disturbing things to kids. And in return, very bad things would be done to said people.

As Kakashi will soon learn.


	7. God am I?

Summary: Hey, sometimes life sucks. And sometimes it really sucks.

So, I guess I'll be making the situation here.

And all the funnies.

WHY NO ONE VOTE? ;(

That means I choose. For I AM THE GOD OF THIS FIC.

And, meh small update is small. Life sucks.

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><p>It was with great alarm that Kakashi found himself trying to step out of sand pools, he could swear that the sand was trying to break his ankles. The boy stared at him, a blank expression on his face. It was really creepy.<p>

Swear to god, he could see himself reflected in those eyes.

As he darted back, arms up to defend himself he realized that he was running. He wasn't backing up for a better position, but that he was running. The kid had this aura around him, one that made all his self preservation instincts run into overdrive.

"Toodles!" He vanished not wanting to chance an incident. That kid...the small boy with the red hair and black rings around his eyes...it reminded him of Naruto. The same loneliness.

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><p>Meanwhile somewhere else far away from Sand.<p>

It wasn't any day that the Legendary Sucker walked into a gambling establishment. It was a fine damn good day.

Everyone who ever owned a casino knew about the Legendary Sucker. She was their boat to the good times. Despite her bad luck, she always had a lot of money to throw away. The Gods were smiling down at them.

"Dara." The manager poked at the heavily scared young man. "Oi, get that lady the best seat in the house."

Dara nodded, approaching the heavily busted woman, hand on the hilt of samurai sword. He bared teeth, showing off his missing teeth. "The boss wants to put you at the high stakes table."

The woman looked at him, eyebrows raised. She then brushed by him, dismissing his very existence with a slight wave of the hand. "Get me a drink."

She departed through the crowd leaving Dara with an infuriated expression on his face.

"Bitch." Legendary Sucker or not no one ignores him like that. He nearly drew his sword on her. Nearly. When she turned her head to look at him, he was suddenly pressed down with a horrible weight.

He was going to die.

With a shuddering breath Dara backed up. "I-I'll get your drink for you ma'am."

Tsunade merely took her seat at the gambling table. Today she was going to win. She was going to take all those sucker's money and laugh as they lose.

Three hours later, she was standing outside without a cent to her name. And it was raining.

"Fuck." Shizune was going to roast her alive.

With a loud groan, she started walking, within seconds the rain completely soaked her. No money for umbrella, no money for booze. The streets were quite empty as most of the towns people had stayed inside once the rain started. As she walked down the street, a sudden surge of killing intent filled the air. Tsunade approached, caution filling her entire being. While she was given leave to wander the countries it didn't mean rogue ninjas weren't going to try for her head. Her part in the Third War didn't make her any friends.

Instead of finding a trap, she found a box and a boy inside a box. The kid had bright yellow hair, a rather used orange shirt and beige shorts. "Cheh. Just a kid." Must be an orphan, judging how he was in a box with a small beaten up bear.

She started to turn, to walk away with a thought occurred. Shizune did threaten to take all her booze money if she came back broke. And she was broke at the moment. Hrm...this kid looked like he was from Konoha, if not for the swirl on his shirt or the tag on the back of it that indicated where it was created. Wonder what he was doing all the way here?

How much of a stretch would it be if she were to use this kid in a scheme? It's not like she couldn't just dump him at some orphanage. It was highly unlikely any kid was gonna get attached, or her it. She hates kids. Hates.

With that in mind, Tsunade reached out with a firm hand and started to shake the boy awake.

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><p>Naruto opened his eyes blearily, the blob before him focusing into a woman with a huge chest. And it was huge. They were bigger than his head. They also must weigh a lot too. They were bigger than the ones his teacher had.<p>

"Hey, kid." The brown eyes that looked at him held no fear, no resentment. In fact they looked bored and mischievous. "I have an idea that'd benefit both of us."

"...What?" Naruto asked confused, wondering why this lady was even talking to him. "What'ya want with me?"

She was scheming and there was no way in hell he was gonna be tricked! It didn't work the last it happened and it wasn't gonna happen now.

"I'll fed and clothe till we get back to Konoha in return you tell my assistant that I used my money on helping you."

Naruto wasn't really listening till he heard, 'get back to Konoha'. He was sold right there and then. This was probably why the last few scams worked on him. No, this was why he can get conned into doing stupid things like..say paint the Hokage faces with red paint. Sure it was a brilliant and awesome thing but he got in so much trouble. The old man lectured his ear off.

"Sure!" Hah it wasn't as if this Shizune lady would be hard to trick. Besides he needed a way to get back to Konoha and stranger danger said nothing about ladies with boobs the size of watermelons. She looked honest enough. And besides, he was a ninja! He could totally escape.


End file.
